I looked at my watch, it was 8:15pm. Rocks started to fall, one by one, until the entire barrier was swept away by the raging river..
Almost eight months ago, I decided to move to settle at a plain near the river. I considered the advantages of staying near it, and the disadvantages that it may impose. I knew that the river could give life, yet at the same time, it could also be a deep abyss that would inhale back life from those dwelling near it.
In spite of these, I stayed near the flowing river, still, but with safety measures, of course. I built a dike. To control the flow of the rushing water, my life, from being flooded in case the water rises. Somehow, it is a fail-safe mechanism that would save me in the near future.
For several months, I made the dike stronger, thicker than before. Each day, I fortify it so as to be tough enough to withstand the raging water. But as an old saying tells, "Even the strongest wall may fall apart", so was the wall that I have built for my dike. After some time, I noticed the cracks forming near the base of the wall. Afraid that the walls may collapse, I immediately refurbished the crevices that formed; I rehabilitated the dike until every fissure is covered.
One day, as I was busy mending the damages on the dike, my angel appeared before me.
"How long would you keep the river from flowing?” she asked me.
"As long as I can, you too know the risks that I may encounter if I did not build this.” boldly, I replied. "Soon, time will come when the river would be stable” I added.
My angel nodded, as if agreeing with my logic, and then she vanished before my eyes. There, my hands were still busy repairing the dike. I smiled seeing the dike back to its sturdy condition.
A few weeks later, I have noticed that I have been undergoing a vicious cycle: rebuilding the dike over and over again. Though it did not bother me much, as it was necessary to be in this process. I have noticed too that my angel did not bother me during this time; maybe she had understood my theory. What a relief. Until one night, she reappeared before me.
“Why are you so bothered by the river?” she asked.
"I do not know, I think I had enough troubles before, this dike would spare me from any future hassles.” I answered, hiding my fears.
My angel looked into my eyes and said, “You are convincing yourself that you needed this wall, but in fact, you can live normally even without it. Normal, life not bound by walls. I am not commanding you to do anything specifically, I just want you to think again about certain things.”
I bowed my head, and took a deep breath. I realized that she was right, I have been trying to evade things even before they happen, not allowing things to go normally. She’s right. I sighed. Again, she disappeared from my eyes. I looked at my watch; it was 8:15pm. A decision was made. I pulled a cornerstone from the dike. Rocks started to fall, one by one, until the entire barrier was swept away by the raging river.
Later that night, I talked to God. I laid my decision before Him, and asked Him to guide me as things would flow normally as they should. I yielded, putting my trust at the palms of His hands.
-AMDG
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Soul Exercise
The road was not busy on the day that I was walking on my way home. It was not just my ordinary walking, it was quite special. I was there on my way, walking with my guardian angel. I took a glance on my phone to check on the time and I noted it on my mind.
"I'm ready.", I told him boldly.
He smiled at me as I started to do my pre-meditation ritual, affirming his support.
Not too soon, I started to take breath slowly as I moved forward. Each pace that my feet set was not the pace that I often do. It was slower than normal. As I did so, it seemed to me that everything was moving in accordance to my pace. The wind was blowing swiftly, clouds were drifting like creeping worms, and leaves rustled making chirping sounds as if they were birds. I did more paces as I advanced.
I paid attention on my surrounding so as to set my soul into meditation. My eyes started to see visions of my current and my past life. The images were so alive as if I was watching an IMAX or 3D movie. Surprisingly, I have seen myself in the visions, yes, I was one of the casts of my own life story.
I continued to walk forward, still paying attention to the minute details of my surrounding, from the grasses dancing with the wind, to trees creaking, to other people walking. Perhaps those people may be wondering why I was walking slowly that time, but that did thought did not distract me on my pre-meditation exercise.
I closed my eyes for a while, still pacing a few steps forward. I stopped, and then gazed upon the open skies. There I saw the stars oddly spaced from one another yet forming a very unique and fascinating outlines. I saw again visions of my life, how certain situations were oddly occurring, affecting one another, the choices that I have opted, decisions that I have made, and the paths that I have taken. I came to realize how these events in my life were intertwined with one another, how my relationships were affecting the other, how my life, itself, was conflicting with its own ideals, the simplicity of life in its complicated form.
I saw various crossroads in my life where I have to make selections. I thought of the moments where I had regrets on choosing the road not taken, the moments where I chose to hide myself from God for drifting on the wrong stream flows, and the times when I plunged into wrong mud. But more interestingly, I had that vision of God pulling me up from getting drowned, cleaning the mess that my wrong decisions have left behind, and finding me in the lost forest of solitude.
Twenty minutes have passed, though I almost forgot to notice it, I was almost reaching my place. I did not notice that I was still pushing forward as I was reflecting. Soon, I have made my way home. I took a deep breath again, inhaled the presence of the Lord through my surrounding, and then exhaled all the negative things that I have in my heart. I thanked God for that wonderful exercise, I thanked my guardian angel for protecting me while my mind and heart were in trance. I felt refreshed and light. Life again started to flow through my veins. The Lord has prepared me. I was ready to write.
-AMDG
"I'm ready.", I told him boldly.
He smiled at me as I started to do my pre-meditation ritual, affirming his support.
Not too soon, I started to take breath slowly as I moved forward. Each pace that my feet set was not the pace that I often do. It was slower than normal. As I did so, it seemed to me that everything was moving in accordance to my pace. The wind was blowing swiftly, clouds were drifting like creeping worms, and leaves rustled making chirping sounds as if they were birds. I did more paces as I advanced.
I paid attention on my surrounding so as to set my soul into meditation. My eyes started to see visions of my current and my past life. The images were so alive as if I was watching an IMAX or 3D movie. Surprisingly, I have seen myself in the visions, yes, I was one of the casts of my own life story.
I continued to walk forward, still paying attention to the minute details of my surrounding, from the grasses dancing with the wind, to trees creaking, to other people walking. Perhaps those people may be wondering why I was walking slowly that time, but that did thought did not distract me on my pre-meditation exercise.
I closed my eyes for a while, still pacing a few steps forward. I stopped, and then gazed upon the open skies. There I saw the stars oddly spaced from one another yet forming a very unique and fascinating outlines. I saw again visions of my life, how certain situations were oddly occurring, affecting one another, the choices that I have opted, decisions that I have made, and the paths that I have taken. I came to realize how these events in my life were intertwined with one another, how my relationships were affecting the other, how my life, itself, was conflicting with its own ideals, the simplicity of life in its complicated form.
I saw various crossroads in my life where I have to make selections. I thought of the moments where I had regrets on choosing the road not taken, the moments where I chose to hide myself from God for drifting on the wrong stream flows, and the times when I plunged into wrong mud. But more interestingly, I had that vision of God pulling me up from getting drowned, cleaning the mess that my wrong decisions have left behind, and finding me in the lost forest of solitude.
Twenty minutes have passed, though I almost forgot to notice it, I was almost reaching my place. I did not notice that I was still pushing forward as I was reflecting. Soon, I have made my way home. I took a deep breath again, inhaled the presence of the Lord through my surrounding, and then exhaled all the negative things that I have in my heart. I thanked God for that wonderful exercise, I thanked my guardian angel for protecting me while my mind and heart were in trance. I felt refreshed and light. Life again started to flow through my veins. The Lord has prepared me. I was ready to write.
-AMDG
Acquaintances
A month ago, I got involved in a terrible vehicular accident. It was really a frightening experience. However, through a miracle, my life was spared. Literally, i evaded the accident before it happened. I realized that God has protected my life. At that moment, my belief on my guardian angel was refreshed. He was sent by God to shield me from the harm that was supposed to be inflicted on me by the devil.
It was quite odd that what had happened during that time made me renew my belief on the existence of my guardian angel. I realize that God was constantly shielding me, though that experience was not a serious one, unlike before when I almost got drowned, or during that time in my childhood years when I fell from our car, and other countless times when I almost lost this life. My recent supposed-to-be-accident has triggered me to ponder on God’s love for me and his gift of guardian angel for me. I was always protected from the furious hands of death for my guardian angel was with me.
For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways.
With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper, trample the lion and the dragon.
(PS 91:11-12)
As I meditated on what has happened, I realized it made me change my views on certain things in life, on fulfilling dreams, on appreciating the value of life. I went into prayer to thank God for everything that He has done, to thank Him for sending to me my guardian angel.
I was in a deep trance when I heard a knock in my heart, as if a voice was speaking to me. I trembled slightly, but I kept my ground to focus on my prayer. At that point, God was speaking to me. Visions started to fill my view, recapping most of the events in my life, including the successes and the failures alike. But there was one thing that God wanted me to realize; I should finding joy through the simplicity of things.
I started to realign myself with the simplest things that I wanted to do: having time with my family, talking with friends, reflecting, talking to God and visiting places. My guardian angel was actively helping me to make these things into reality, constantly relaying the messages that God want me to hear. Soon, I came to realize that he has led me to a familiar yet quite peculiar place where I could appreciate the beauty of God’s work. My guardian angel tapped my back as he showed to me the spot. I was astounded by that wonderful experience; at that point, my heart was overjoyed. I was still stunned when I saw another being; she was drawing near to us. “Meet your personal angel”, my guardian angel said to me.
Joy started to consume me, as I was not able to find the words to express the gladness that I felt at that moment, nor the words to express how grateful I am to the Lord who has sent me two angels to be with me, one to guard me, and the other one to guide me. At that moment, I just felt blessed.
-AMDG
It was quite odd that what had happened during that time made me renew my belief on the existence of my guardian angel. I realize that God was constantly shielding me, though that experience was not a serious one, unlike before when I almost got drowned, or during that time in my childhood years when I fell from our car, and other countless times when I almost lost this life. My recent supposed-to-be-accident has triggered me to ponder on God’s love for me and his gift of guardian angel for me. I was always protected from the furious hands of death for my guardian angel was with me.
For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways.
With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper, trample the lion and the dragon.
(PS 91:11-12)
As I meditated on what has happened, I realized it made me change my views on certain things in life, on fulfilling dreams, on appreciating the value of life. I went into prayer to thank God for everything that He has done, to thank Him for sending to me my guardian angel.
I was in a deep trance when I heard a knock in my heart, as if a voice was speaking to me. I trembled slightly, but I kept my ground to focus on my prayer. At that point, God was speaking to me. Visions started to fill my view, recapping most of the events in my life, including the successes and the failures alike. But there was one thing that God wanted me to realize; I should finding joy through the simplicity of things.
I started to realign myself with the simplest things that I wanted to do: having time with my family, talking with friends, reflecting, talking to God and visiting places. My guardian angel was actively helping me to make these things into reality, constantly relaying the messages that God want me to hear. Soon, I came to realize that he has led me to a familiar yet quite peculiar place where I could appreciate the beauty of God’s work. My guardian angel tapped my back as he showed to me the spot. I was astounded by that wonderful experience; at that point, my heart was overjoyed. I was still stunned when I saw another being; she was drawing near to us. “Meet your personal angel”, my guardian angel said to me.
Joy started to consume me, as I was not able to find the words to express the gladness that I felt at that moment, nor the words to express how grateful I am to the Lord who has sent me two angels to be with me, one to guard me, and the other one to guide me. At that moment, I just felt blessed.
-AMDG
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Rocky Tale
Once upon a time there was a talking rock… I know this sounds ridiculous, a fairytale about a talking rock. But I do hope that you take time on reading this story. =P
Back to my story, once upon a time there was a talking rock. Nobody knows how he learned to speak a certain language. In our story, let us say that the language he speaks is English. Maybe he learned it from a rock school, or probably from his rock band mates, or from his fellow rockista, no one really knows. He was living a crazy life, a tambay, perhaps. And he was not really happy with the way things were going in his life.
One bright morning, the talking rock decided to go out, and so he walked his way to the Carabao park (What? A talking and walking rock?). He was walking for a couple of hours since he left his house. But even though he walked slow, he is proud that he never walked backwards (Johnny Walker). Soon, he was able to reach the park, around 10:00pm. Yes, he was that slow…
He was tired. He turned his head around to look for a place to sit, perhaps a stool, or a rock (wait, he cannot sit on a rock), or some clear ground. After spending two hours searching for a place to rest, he again felt the stress on his neck as it became stiff. He then decided to sit down on where he was standing two hours ago.
From where he was sitting, he noticed the dark skies blazed by various stars (Ate V., Nora, Sharon, Maricel Soriano, not them… ok?). He was greatly amazed by what his eyes see. Maybe because this was just the first time that a talking walking rock was used in a story, thus the amazement was really that great. He tried to reach his hands towards the stars (yes, he has hands too…), and tried to connect the stars as seen in the Globe commercial on TV.
While he was doing that, he suddenly felt that he was levitating (nosebleed….). He saw that the ground was getting far away from him, or technically, he was the one getting far away from the ground. Confused with what’s happening, he turned his head and saw a hand holding his entire solid rock body. He was moving, or shall we say, he was being moved. He screamed, so hard so that everyone could hear him. But he soon realized that he only knew how to talk, screaming was not taught in rock school.
Soon they arrived in an old room. He felt himself rolling on a wooden table. He opened his eyes, and noticed a woman walking here and there in that room. His eyes also noticed a machine with a disk, “a sharpening tool or grinding tool”, he thought to himself. He suddenly felt cold like a rock, he forgot that he was a rock. Fear started to consume him. He tried to feel if his heart was beating fast but he was not able to find the pulse.
“Is this my last day on earth?” he sobbed.
The woman heard the talking rock, astounded with what she heard, she draw near that rock. She picked up the rock with her hand and closely she examined it.
“Can you really speak?” the woman asked the rock.
“No.”, replied the rock, trying to hide his talent.
The woman laughed hard, not really sure if she was insane at that moment. But she knew that everything is possible in this fairytale. She stopped laughing soon when she realized that laughing too hard was not part of the script.
She turned to the rock again, and said to him, “What is your name?”.
“Batu Puti”, the rock replied. He got his name from the writer of this tale. (Can anyone suggest a better name, please?)
The woman said to the rock, “Batu Puti, from now on, I will call you Duke.”
Tears started to roll from on the face of the rock. His heart, though he does not have one, was pierced by this happy moment in his life. No one has ever done this before. For several years, nobody seemed to care about his existence. He was just the same as the other rocks that can be found somewhere else, maybe in Batong Malake, though I don’t know if there are other talking slash walking slash crying rocks out there. He felt special at that moment, as if his life had its bearing in this world. The two became friends as they talked, shared stories, and talked again, and shared stories again (the woman in the story is not Muztahpuh).
After a while, the woman lifted him again and placed it on a vise. She turned on the machine and started to trim the Duke. She worked at different angles, carefully touching each side so as to maintain harmony in what she was doing. Duke felt the pain forming in his rocky body, as if he was suffering a tremendous pain. Maybe because that was the first time a sharpening tool touched him.
Several hours of grinding and sharpening soon came to a stop. Duke opened his eyes and saw the woman smiling at him. The woman picked up a mirror and faced it towards Duke. Light reflected on the mirror as he gleamed in his own reflection. He was not the same as before, technically, after that long series of sharpening and grinding. He has a new form. Light was reflected and refracted (nosebleed…) over his entire body. He was not an ordinary rock anymore. The long suffering reached its limit, thus opening the gates of salvation, he felt special.
He had a new name. He had a new friend. He had a new form. Most specially, he had a new life. At that moment, his heart was softened (though he doesn’t have one, again he forgot this fact), he was happy that he met the woman.
Duke was affirmed with what the woman did. The woman restored Duke’s dignity, she gave him a new identity, one that will restore him. His new life inspired him to change for the better, to live a good life. He was thankful to the One who created everything. He was grateful that God allowed their paths to cross, so as to give him restoration of life.
Just as how most fairytales end, everyone lived happily ever after. The woman continued to inspire more rocks. Duke was now at a jewelry shop (don’t get me wrong, he was happy here living a new life here as a manager). :-D
May we be an affirmation to everyone :-) AMDG!
P.S. If you wish to suggest better names for the characters, please feel free to do so. :D I know I'm not an expert here hahahah! :D
Back to my story, once upon a time there was a talking rock. Nobody knows how he learned to speak a certain language. In our story, let us say that the language he speaks is English. Maybe he learned it from a rock school, or probably from his rock band mates, or from his fellow rockista, no one really knows. He was living a crazy life, a tambay, perhaps. And he was not really happy with the way things were going in his life.
One bright morning, the talking rock decided to go out, and so he walked his way to the Carabao park (What? A talking and walking rock?). He was walking for a couple of hours since he left his house. But even though he walked slow, he is proud that he never walked backwards (Johnny Walker). Soon, he was able to reach the park, around 10:00pm. Yes, he was that slow…
He was tired. He turned his head around to look for a place to sit, perhaps a stool, or a rock (wait, he cannot sit on a rock), or some clear ground. After spending two hours searching for a place to rest, he again felt the stress on his neck as it became stiff. He then decided to sit down on where he was standing two hours ago.
From where he was sitting, he noticed the dark skies blazed by various stars (Ate V., Nora, Sharon, Maricel Soriano, not them… ok?). He was greatly amazed by what his eyes see. Maybe because this was just the first time that a talking walking rock was used in a story, thus the amazement was really that great. He tried to reach his hands towards the stars (yes, he has hands too…), and tried to connect the stars as seen in the Globe commercial on TV.
While he was doing that, he suddenly felt that he was levitating (nosebleed….). He saw that the ground was getting far away from him, or technically, he was the one getting far away from the ground. Confused with what’s happening, he turned his head and saw a hand holding his entire solid rock body. He was moving, or shall we say, he was being moved. He screamed, so hard so that everyone could hear him. But he soon realized that he only knew how to talk, screaming was not taught in rock school.
Soon they arrived in an old room. He felt himself rolling on a wooden table. He opened his eyes, and noticed a woman walking here and there in that room. His eyes also noticed a machine with a disk, “a sharpening tool or grinding tool”, he thought to himself. He suddenly felt cold like a rock, he forgot that he was a rock. Fear started to consume him. He tried to feel if his heart was beating fast but he was not able to find the pulse.
“Is this my last day on earth?” he sobbed.
The woman heard the talking rock, astounded with what she heard, she draw near that rock. She picked up the rock with her hand and closely she examined it.
“Can you really speak?” the woman asked the rock.
“No.”, replied the rock, trying to hide his talent.
The woman laughed hard, not really sure if she was insane at that moment. But she knew that everything is possible in this fairytale. She stopped laughing soon when she realized that laughing too hard was not part of the script.
She turned to the rock again, and said to him, “What is your name?”.
“Batu Puti”, the rock replied. He got his name from the writer of this tale. (Can anyone suggest a better name, please?)
The woman said to the rock, “Batu Puti, from now on, I will call you Duke.”
Tears started to roll from on the face of the rock. His heart, though he does not have one, was pierced by this happy moment in his life. No one has ever done this before. For several years, nobody seemed to care about his existence. He was just the same as the other rocks that can be found somewhere else, maybe in Batong Malake, though I don’t know if there are other talking slash walking slash crying rocks out there. He felt special at that moment, as if his life had its bearing in this world. The two became friends as they talked, shared stories, and talked again, and shared stories again (the woman in the story is not Muztahpuh).
After a while, the woman lifted him again and placed it on a vise. She turned on the machine and started to trim the Duke. She worked at different angles, carefully touching each side so as to maintain harmony in what she was doing. Duke felt the pain forming in his rocky body, as if he was suffering a tremendous pain. Maybe because that was the first time a sharpening tool touched him.
Several hours of grinding and sharpening soon came to a stop. Duke opened his eyes and saw the woman smiling at him. The woman picked up a mirror and faced it towards Duke. Light reflected on the mirror as he gleamed in his own reflection. He was not the same as before, technically, after that long series of sharpening and grinding. He has a new form. Light was reflected and refracted (nosebleed…) over his entire body. He was not an ordinary rock anymore. The long suffering reached its limit, thus opening the gates of salvation, he felt special.
He had a new name. He had a new friend. He had a new form. Most specially, he had a new life. At that moment, his heart was softened (though he doesn’t have one, again he forgot this fact), he was happy that he met the woman.
Duke was affirmed with what the woman did. The woman restored Duke’s dignity, she gave him a new identity, one that will restore him. His new life inspired him to change for the better, to live a good life. He was thankful to the One who created everything. He was grateful that God allowed their paths to cross, so as to give him restoration of life.
Just as how most fairytales end, everyone lived happily ever after. The woman continued to inspire more rocks. Duke was now at a jewelry shop (don’t get me wrong, he was happy here living a new life here as a manager). :-D
May we be an affirmation to everyone :-) AMDG!
P.S. If you wish to suggest better names for the characters, please feel free to do so. :D I know I'm not an expert here hahahah! :D
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Untitled Yet...
Once upon a time there was a prince who lived in a far away kingdom. Yes, this is always the setting in almost all common fairytales, a prince or a princess living in a kingdom far away from the society, in some mountainous areas perhaps. And like the other fairytales involving princes and princesses, the story has this battle of good and evil, light and shadows, love and bruises. Don’t worry, I changed my mind.. definitely, this would not be a fairytale, I just cannot pick a good introduction about this story that's why i used these lines to start this note. To give you an brief intro, this story happened several eons ago, February 14, 2010 (I think we cannot call this “eons ago”, but since I am the one writing, I have the license). Its title: "____________". (Please feel free to give a title for this. it's very much appreciated! Thank you!!!)
"_______________"
Staring at the blue skies, I kept on digging myself. I tried to calm my mind and focused on my staring. Birds were flying in groups, as if every movement is coordinated with one another. From my bed, I can clearly see how the clouds were drifted by the swiftly blowing wind, reforming itself into various shapes. Some were remodeled into a shape of a puppy, and some into a shape of an angel, or it was just my wild imagination, I suppose. I remember, one time, I attended a workshop-seminar. They told us that those who can imagine things greatly are those with green minds. Well, I guess I am one of them, those who have great imaginations, that’s the one I’m pertaining to, not those with green minds, of course, though I admit it too, I was once one of them.
Still staring at the clouds, the open skies, the birds in harmonic flight, I felt myself being pulled into a deep abyss, a place within me where emotions suddenly does not exist. My strength was ruptured as I sink within this dark portal in my being, for several minutes, everything became blank. I felt the air getting thinner and thinner as I sink deeper that I tried to choke, to gasp for air. It was a battle, a warfare that I always avoid. I denied its existence, or should I say, I shrug it off as soon as I perceive it coming. I felt fear slowly ravaging me. At that instance, my eyes became dysfunctional, and sooner, I felt my other senses failing too. I yielded to that moment as I did not have the will power to fight against it. But before I become totally numb, I suddenly felt a warm touch on my face. I heard a voice calling my name, saying that I should face this fight. I tried to open my eyes though I knew that these eyes of mine had already failed functioning. To my surprise, I saw a very bright light. It is then that I realize that it was my angel.
It was a miracle that my senses came back. I felt rejuvenated at that point. I tried to get myself up to avoid being swallowed. I did manage to recover, and at last, I reached the surface again. I looked back to see if my angel was there. With my own eyes, I saw her vanished, leaving a smile. Everything went on a flash. I was back again.
Clouds, open skies, birds in flight, I can see them again with my eyes, but this time, it was quite different. I smiled.
"_______________"
Staring at the blue skies, I kept on digging myself. I tried to calm my mind and focused on my staring. Birds were flying in groups, as if every movement is coordinated with one another. From my bed, I can clearly see how the clouds were drifted by the swiftly blowing wind, reforming itself into various shapes. Some were remodeled into a shape of a puppy, and some into a shape of an angel, or it was just my wild imagination, I suppose. I remember, one time, I attended a workshop-seminar. They told us that those who can imagine things greatly are those with green minds. Well, I guess I am one of them, those who have great imaginations, that’s the one I’m pertaining to, not those with green minds, of course, though I admit it too, I was once one of them.
Still staring at the clouds, the open skies, the birds in harmonic flight, I felt myself being pulled into a deep abyss, a place within me where emotions suddenly does not exist. My strength was ruptured as I sink within this dark portal in my being, for several minutes, everything became blank. I felt the air getting thinner and thinner as I sink deeper that I tried to choke, to gasp for air. It was a battle, a warfare that I always avoid. I denied its existence, or should I say, I shrug it off as soon as I perceive it coming. I felt fear slowly ravaging me. At that instance, my eyes became dysfunctional, and sooner, I felt my other senses failing too. I yielded to that moment as I did not have the will power to fight against it. But before I become totally numb, I suddenly felt a warm touch on my face. I heard a voice calling my name, saying that I should face this fight. I tried to open my eyes though I knew that these eyes of mine had already failed functioning. To my surprise, I saw a very bright light. It is then that I realize that it was my angel.
It was a miracle that my senses came back. I felt rejuvenated at that point. I tried to get myself up to avoid being swallowed. I did manage to recover, and at last, I reached the surface again. I looked back to see if my angel was there. With my own eyes, I saw her vanished, leaving a smile. Everything went on a flash. I was back again.
Clouds, open skies, birds in flight, I can see them again with my eyes, but this time, it was quite different. I smiled.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
His Time
When I was younger, I had this weird hobby. I was fond of collecting insects and arachnids (thanks to my Biology subject). These include some pitiful dragonflies, beetles, spiders and some species of butterflies (though I really do not know the exact order and class to which these insects belonged). If they catch my attention, I follow them and try to catch them with my bare hands. If they are swift enough to escape my fury, I use some sort of net to increase my field of attack. If they were still fast enough to get themselves away from me, I use brute force: get them dead or alive (Okay, please do not judge me for behaving that way, I was too young back then).
And alas, the poor insect would find themselves spending the rest of their lives inside a bottle, or a box, or any container that I could get. I was not merciless though, after some time, I give them pardon and release them depending on their condition (if they were about to die out of starvation or loneliness) or depending on the guilt that was harnessed within me.
Some of these mediocre animals did not let themselves be captured without fighting for their lives of course. Some of them bit me as hard as they can. Then I felt the sudden burst of my cells within me, my genes reaarranged themselves in some sort of alien-ish order, my senses became stronger, then I woke up (I was just daydreaming). Luckily they were not mutated, thus I was spared of finding my own costume as soon as I felt the mutation in my genes. I was spared of that difficulty in creating my own code name and tag line. Spiderman (of course it would be pirated), Tutubi Man (Eeker?), Beetle Boy, Butterflyhero (alright, this doesn't sound good at all), etc. Good thing I did not include flies and mosquitoes in my "to-capture" list. I cannot imagine myself wearing a mosquito or a fly costume.
One thing got my interest suddenly when I was on my search. I have noticed a cocoon hanging on a branch of a mango tree. I knew what was inside that cocoon, of course, though I did not know how it will look like as soon as it emerges from the pod. Out of my wild curiosity, I picked the cocoon and held it gently with my hands. I tried to open the pod to let the insect out. Though I was very careful on opening it, I was still not careful enough to avoid rupturing it. I succeeded in unwrapping the cocoon after a couple of minutes, but to my surprise, I failed to see the wings. They were not yet developed, I suppose. Sadness filled my heart, and regret started to build in my mind. I laid the lifeless corpse of the insect on the table. Its life was a pity; it was not able to spread its wings. I felt that I robbed from it the fulfillment of being a flying insect.
After that incident, I realized one good thing; we cannot force things to happen in our own time. Each has its own time line that it has to undergo, small and big things alike. There is a perfect time for everything. Things go odd if we try to make it happen as we wanted it to be. We should just let things be. Butterflies will emerge from their cocoons as soon as they are ready. Everything, all things will happen as God planned it to be.
There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
(Ecc 3:1-8)
And alas, the poor insect would find themselves spending the rest of their lives inside a bottle, or a box, or any container that I could get. I was not merciless though, after some time, I give them pardon and release them depending on their condition (if they were about to die out of starvation or loneliness) or depending on the guilt that was harnessed within me.
Some of these mediocre animals did not let themselves be captured without fighting for their lives of course. Some of them bit me as hard as they can. Then I felt the sudden burst of my cells within me, my genes reaarranged themselves in some sort of alien-ish order, my senses became stronger, then I woke up (I was just daydreaming). Luckily they were not mutated, thus I was spared of finding my own costume as soon as I felt the mutation in my genes. I was spared of that difficulty in creating my own code name and tag line. Spiderman (of course it would be pirated), Tutubi Man (Eeker?), Beetle Boy, Butterflyhero (alright, this doesn't sound good at all), etc. Good thing I did not include flies and mosquitoes in my "to-capture" list. I cannot imagine myself wearing a mosquito or a fly costume.
One thing got my interest suddenly when I was on my search. I have noticed a cocoon hanging on a branch of a mango tree. I knew what was inside that cocoon, of course, though I did not know how it will look like as soon as it emerges from the pod. Out of my wild curiosity, I picked the cocoon and held it gently with my hands. I tried to open the pod to let the insect out. Though I was very careful on opening it, I was still not careful enough to avoid rupturing it. I succeeded in unwrapping the cocoon after a couple of minutes, but to my surprise, I failed to see the wings. They were not yet developed, I suppose. Sadness filled my heart, and regret started to build in my mind. I laid the lifeless corpse of the insect on the table. Its life was a pity; it was not able to spread its wings. I felt that I robbed from it the fulfillment of being a flying insect.
After that incident, I realized one good thing; we cannot force things to happen in our own time. Each has its own time line that it has to undergo, small and big things alike. There is a perfect time for everything. Things go odd if we try to make it happen as we wanted it to be. We should just let things be. Butterflies will emerge from their cocoons as soon as they are ready. Everything, all things will happen as God planned it to be.
There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
(Ecc 3:1-8)
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