When an almost perfect relationship becomes imperfect...

I thought that my relationship with my partner was quite an ideal one. We had good times, and bad times too. We were always able to overcome these bumps. But suddenly, we had to face this storm. Struggling to save our bond, we fought the hard battle. But still, no one can resist the will of God. No matter how hard we tried, timing was just not perfect. It's not according to His perfect time. But I am not mad by the way. In fact, I consider this point in my life as a part of my growth. Nothing came to a waste. I reflected on the things that had happened, and yielded a list of things not to do in a relationship. And here it is:


1. Do not deny... unless you're innocent

In my part, I really had to deny all the accusations thrown to me by my girlfriend. Because I was really innocent. Never did I do such things. Apparently, I guess I was not convincing enough to prove my innocence to her. At that instance, I thought things would be easier for the two of us if would just accept all these accusations, too easy that we will jump to the conclusion of breaking up instantly. But my heart was revolting. I really cannot accept the thing whose existence is a null. Checking on reality, maybe things would possibly be on that way soon, but as for that instance, it is null. Defense mode ON. If you are guilty of anything, do not deny it, it will be revealed sooner or later, so there's no point in hiding it.



2. If you're a giver, do not give much

I am fond of giving a hand to my friends, tokens, letters, hugs and ifts to my special friends perhaps. But what I've learned from my previous relationship was, I should have limit myself from giving too much for these people around me. The absence of this limit somehow erases the boundary that separates my girlfriend from my other friends. This diminishes the thing that makes her more special in some aspect. But since this is totally against my principle of existence, I did not limit it. But maybe if I could have tried an alternative here. I should have affirmed her in some other ways. Give more to her, more than I give to others. But that was the part where I failed. My bad.. All because I thought my partner would understand me, that's who I am.


3. Change is good... but to a certain healthy dosage only

For a time, I really wanted my partner to have a good life. I always wanted to make the situations better for her. Even if it takes for me to give up my own preferences. I just want to do it, out of love. Well, there's nothing wrong with it, I believe. But coming to a realization, I was totally losing myself. As I adapt to the changing situations, I tend to somehow lose my own identity. Thus, leading me to this struggle of seeking who I am. If you want to adapt to the demands of the situations, always set a limit. Every change has a certain healthy bound. Love yourself too.


4. Do not over-pamper your partner

Self-explainable, I suppose. An excessive amount of anything is bad at times. Believe me, demands will be greater through time, and if you cannot yield to all of these demands, you will find yourself in a misery, or end up like me.


5. Do not leave your friends behind

This is a fail-safe mechanism that will save you from all the troubles. If all else fails with your partner, you will always have friends to turn to, company who could give you a helping hand. As for my case, I am still lucky enough to have someone to talk to during my struggles. Thank God for sending angels.



6. If you feel tired, do not hesitate to speak it out...you're not Superman

I always wanted to be a shoulder to lean on for my partner. I listen patiently to all her stories, burdens, and other stuff. But I never thought I would reach my own limit, I almost forgot, I am human. But since I wanted to be a hero to her, I chose to go on and let myself carry these things for my partner. Upon reaching the my elastic limit (engineering term :D), I suddenly felt the exhaustion, and was able to turn my back to my partner, unintentional though... During that moment, I turned her down, giving her that feeling of abandonment. If only I were able to say my feelings during that time. But it's over. I have done it already. Just be ready to face the consequences.


7. Do not forget about God

Your partner is just a gift, lent by God. We do not know how long the two of you would be together. Only God knows. Cherish each moment with your partner. But Do not forget the Giver of that gift. Have some moments to cherish with God. Thank God for allowing your paths to cross. All are part of His mighty plan.


NOTE:
My situation now is the aftermath of it, after failing to do the "not to do's", except for the last number. ;-) Until now, I always seek God to thank Him for all these things that had happened in my life. My past was not a regret, actually. Happy, I am. Still happy, thanking God for all the blessings and for still keeping me alive, and for allowing me to experience this growth booster.