v> i'm leaving..
o> what??? you cannot leave me alone here...
v> why not?
o> because we coexist. it's a fact.
v> well fact that, i hate that fact.. i really needed space! is it really that hard to understand?
o> oh...you can move there, but not too far away.
v> that's not space!!
o> what do you need again?
v> forget it! *sigh*
o> i forgot to ask, what's your name again?
v> do i need to tell you?
o> of course!
v> okay.. i'll tell you next time. (damn! why can't i just leave this one!)
o> i heard that! you cannot leave me because i know you care for me.
v> are you sure of that?
o> i just know. by the way, i need a name.
v> i don't have, so don't ask me for one.
o> i see.. i'll get one for you.
These guys are quite annoying... they keep on bugging me. i hope i can dispatch them one of these days.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wind Chronicles
Recovering from the previous battle with other warlords, I found myself lying on my bed. Gently, I opened my eyes to see a glimpse of my surrounding. Nobody was there. I tried to feel my body. I barely can move my limbs, hardly can i feel my legs. Pain is all over my body, brought by the fresh wounds and old scars reopened from the last encounter. As if the throbbing yells at me to give up.
Still unable to move freely, I just closed my eyes. And momentarily, the scenes started to flash at the back of my head. Excerpts from the warfare about five eons ago started to roll, memories with the other guardian knights, and my inauguration as part of the knights of the round table was projected as if I am watching a full length movie. How nostalgic..
I have been ramming in numerous battles, countless times I got home victorious. But defeat is inevitable. I admit it. I once lost the battle with the sorceress of the highlands. I even lost in my duel with one of the knights of the round. Apparently, I managed to get home, still breathing, perhaps. Nostalgic..
Again I opened my eyes. Still, nobody was there. Only the wind. I smiled as it greeted me. Alone, I am not, I then realized. I stretched my hand to reach for my sword beside my bed. Ripping the freshly recovering wounds upon extending my arms, but I was able to withstand such pain. Almost there, I exerted even more effort to reach my goal. Finally, I was wielding the blade in my hand. I have decided. I will fight. I picked up my rusty armor and glided with the wind.
It blew me to my destination: an uncharted terrain..a path yet to be discovered. I secured my hand with the wind.
Still unable to move freely, I just closed my eyes. And momentarily, the scenes started to flash at the back of my head. Excerpts from the warfare about five eons ago started to roll, memories with the other guardian knights, and my inauguration as part of the knights of the round table was projected as if I am watching a full length movie. How nostalgic..
I have been ramming in numerous battles, countless times I got home victorious. But defeat is inevitable. I admit it. I once lost the battle with the sorceress of the highlands. I even lost in my duel with one of the knights of the round. Apparently, I managed to get home, still breathing, perhaps. Nostalgic..
Again I opened my eyes. Still, nobody was there. Only the wind. I smiled as it greeted me. Alone, I am not, I then realized. I stretched my hand to reach for my sword beside my bed. Ripping the freshly recovering wounds upon extending my arms, but I was able to withstand such pain. Almost there, I exerted even more effort to reach my goal. Finally, I was wielding the blade in my hand. I have decided. I will fight. I picked up my rusty armor and glided with the wind.
It blew me to my destination: an uncharted terrain..a path yet to be discovered. I secured my hand with the wind.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I'm free!
..." we cannot mess up with other’s free will..."
Just recently, I received an SMS from one of my friends..let’s just call her Ms. Anonymous. She was asking me regarding the time that I will be out of my office. Later, I found out that she was in need of someone to talk to. Immediately, I rose from my computer chair, picked up my fone and my wallet, and left my office (I was not able to turn off my computer since I was in a hurry). I walked as fast as I can to the nearest waiting shed to get a jeepney. Luckily, I was able to ride in no time.
On my way, I sent messages to her to confirm that I was almost there. Just as I stepped out of the vehicle, my eyes have already spotted the place where she was seating. From where I was standing, I was able to notice that she was shedding tears. Silently, I walked down to her, and sat by her side. I asked her what happened. Then she shared her story, her not so good experiences in her relationship with her boyfriend. At that moment, she was quite sure of her decision to give up on him, to set herself free from pain, for her to rise again. I agreed with her, I thought she had enough. I did not give any advice to her during that time. All I did was to listen to her, and affirmed her of the decisions that she chose. At that instance, I was really proud of her. I saw her courage, her faith that she can stand on her own, even without her boyfriend.
Ironically, after two days, I accidentally saw her with her boyfriend. I waved at them to acknowledge them. I gave her a smile. It seemed that she’s really stubborn when it comes to things like that. But I understand her, as she struggles for her stability. Well, tables have been turned, but I accepted that fact. There are really things I cannot insist with my friends. It was part of the free will that God has bestowed upon her. At the end, she will always have that choice to do what she wanted to do.
We must accept the truth that we cannot mess up with other’s free will. We need to respect them, just as God respected us. He accepted it, and chose not to control us. As much as God really wanted us to draw near Him, He still won’t force us to do so. He gave us the freedom to think and act on our own. He will not impose us to do His will. He loves us that much!
Just recently, I received an SMS from one of my friends..let’s just call her Ms. Anonymous. She was asking me regarding the time that I will be out of my office. Later, I found out that she was in need of someone to talk to. Immediately, I rose from my computer chair, picked up my fone and my wallet, and left my office (I was not able to turn off my computer since I was in a hurry). I walked as fast as I can to the nearest waiting shed to get a jeepney. Luckily, I was able to ride in no time.
On my way, I sent messages to her to confirm that I was almost there. Just as I stepped out of the vehicle, my eyes have already spotted the place where she was seating. From where I was standing, I was able to notice that she was shedding tears. Silently, I walked down to her, and sat by her side. I asked her what happened. Then she shared her story, her not so good experiences in her relationship with her boyfriend. At that moment, she was quite sure of her decision to give up on him, to set herself free from pain, for her to rise again. I agreed with her, I thought she had enough. I did not give any advice to her during that time. All I did was to listen to her, and affirmed her of the decisions that she chose. At that instance, I was really proud of her. I saw her courage, her faith that she can stand on her own, even without her boyfriend.
Ironically, after two days, I accidentally saw her with her boyfriend. I waved at them to acknowledge them. I gave her a smile. It seemed that she’s really stubborn when it comes to things like that. But I understand her, as she struggles for her stability. Well, tables have been turned, but I accepted that fact. There are really things I cannot insist with my friends. It was part of the free will that God has bestowed upon her. At the end, she will always have that choice to do what she wanted to do.
We must accept the truth that we cannot mess up with other’s free will. We need to respect them, just as God respected us. He accepted it, and chose not to control us. As much as God really wanted us to draw near Him, He still won’t force us to do so. He gave us the freedom to think and act on our own. He will not impose us to do His will. He loves us that much!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
3-11-25
Three.
Bright morning sun, embraces God's creations with its mantle of light
Fine is the weather. Birds flying around. Wind rushing slight.
Clouds streaming across the skies.
Eleven.
Sailing across the seas. Calm as it may seem
Waves agitated by the emotional wind
Rocking the raft, tearing piece by piece.
Twenty-five.
Almost the end, I see. I yielded to the hand of the Almighty.
Resisted no more, but embraced it happily
My path was set, though blank, I walked through it.
Bright morning sun, embraces God's creations with its mantle of light
Fine is the weather. Birds flying around. Wind rushing slight.
Clouds streaming across the skies.
Eleven.
Sailing across the seas. Calm as it may seem
Waves agitated by the emotional wind
Rocking the raft, tearing piece by piece.
Twenty-five.
Almost the end, I see. I yielded to the hand of the Almighty.
Resisted no more, but embraced it happily
My path was set, though blank, I walked through it.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Dark side in us
Human - a living creature characterized by kindness, mercy, or compassion. Gracefully described as this, but in reality, the sun does not shine on all sides of a human being. There is this part which the sun fails to light. A facet which is characterized by pain, anger, madness, revenge, or sometimes, murderous intent. All of which are benign, but capable of being triggered.
But some people just can't be mad at all, though they have experienced humiliation and violation, or some kind of abuse, may it be verbal, physical or emotional. Instead, they just choose to be still and let go of that ordeal. For some reason, they just have this extra string of patience to understand the felon. As if there is no room for revenge within their hearts. They choose not to stoop down at that level, maintaining their dignity as a pacifistic person. For some, they claim love as the main reason. Their love for others, especially on the ones close to them incarcerates them from being furious. Because they do care. As simple as that. They just do treasure their memories, to a point that retaliation is considered unnecessary. Regardless of the amount of love that they receive in return.
People get mad, especially when they feel violated, or somebody else has taken something significant from them without their permission. Sometimes, people just get mad when situations are not rolling to their sides. It is a normal human reaction to these circumstances, recoiling the force that was exerted to them.
But some people just can't be mad at all, though they have experienced humiliation and violation, or some kind of abuse, may it be verbal, physical or emotional. Instead, they just choose to be still and let go of that ordeal. For some reason, they just have this extra string of patience to understand the felon. As if there is no room for revenge within their hearts. They choose not to stoop down at that level, maintaining their dignity as a pacifistic person. For some, they claim love as the main reason. Their love for others, especially on the ones close to them incarcerates them from being furious. Because they do care. As simple as that. They just do treasure their memories, to a point that retaliation is considered unnecessary. Regardless of the amount of love that they receive in return.
It is abnormal for a human not to react at all. But they opt not to. It's a grace from God that they manage to lit their dark sides within, so as to let love reign in them. Let God handle things, His own way. Well, I still hope and pray that God would just let things such as these pass, may God hear my prayer. AMDG.
'Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, In due time their foot will slip; For the day of their calamity is near, And the impending things are hastening upon them.' -Deut 32:35
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
love and related matters
Talking about matters.. well, this one is about love. As I saw it, I found it really vague. At times it is strong, too strong that not anyone can break it. But there are also times when it is too weak that you cannot fight for it. That's the two faces of it. It is really hard to comprehend both sides at the same time. You need to go through it one at a time, to know and compare the traits of each. Often times, one side can dominate the other. It depends on the two person involved in the relationship, however. Strengthening the love that binds a relationship or weakening it, depends on how much effort does each one give.
1. Acceptance.
Each person in this bond is required to understand and accept the weaknesses of his or her partner. Admitting that the partner is weak in some aspects, may it be in terms of physical features, or talent, or may be when it comes to intelligence. Accepting it as it is, and not covering or concealing it with luscious affirmation. Acceptance does not only goes one way, you should also accept yourself as you are. Admit it, you too are human, an imperfect creation of God. That's a reality, nothing that God has created is perfect. Appreciate your own weaknesses, and learn how to strive through it. At the end, you will learn to love yourself more, despite of the insecurities that you once had. By loving yourself more, you can love your partner even more.
2. Affirmation.
This is a key to overcome weaknesses. By affirming the things that you and your partner give, you will learn to appreciate each other more. Even if one of you failed to yield, affirming him or her will give guts for each one of you to exert more to make your relationship happier. Affirmation in action is needed. Not just through words, words are not enough. For words are like faith; without action, it is also dead. Of course words can give you comfort and sense of support, but it cannot save you from bigger troubles. But in reality, words are just mere concepts and theories pending to be applied. We can always be fooled by glamorous words, especially when we are in desperate situations, that we need instant support, since words are always faster than acting it. Quite easily said than done.
3. Quality time.
Definition of quality time depends on the perception of an individual. For me, sitting beside the one you love, even without any words, is a quality time. For some, quality time is going to the park, sharing experiences with one another, going out on a date, having some coffee together, eating lunch together, walking around together. That may also be defined as quality time. There are other perceptions of this concept. But all boils down on one thing: spending a moment with your beloved is really healthy. It boosts support, presence, appreciation and of course, love.
4. Basic communication.
How often do you talk? When was the last time you heard the voice of your partner? When did you last quarrel? These moments matter in a relationship. For in these events, your hearts converse with one another. Your hearts speak with each other, a two way communication that enhances your bond. When one speaks, you can see through the way your partner says every single word the feelings he or she has behind it. Behind the spoken words, real emotions are exposed through the intonation of each word. And without this, you will just end up trying to interpolate the current mood of your partner. You can understand your partner more and more with each conversation that you have with each other.
5. Understanding.
Understanding your partner, how he or she thinks or reacts is important. By allowing yourself to see even the smallest detail, it can yield to loving your partner at a deeper level. Not just on the level of words, but on the level of hearing and listening. As you enhance this, soon you can arrive at a point where words, may it be written or spoken, are not necessary to understand one another. This is at a level where hearts commune with each other.
6. Contenment
Fidelity is a common issue in a relationship. One becomes unfaithful when you start to look for something that you cannot find in your partner. But this missing thing or trait is just a small percentage of what your partner currently possess. If you just learn how to appreciate the greater factor, you will not be looking for that missing part. Always thank the Creator for making your partner that way. Of course there will always be someone who looks better than your partner, or better than you, that's a fact. But if you are happy with what God has given you, you will always find joy in it. You'll be surprised that this missing percentage will be negligble, contented on the gift that God has given you through your partner. Thank God for making us imperfect, for in our imperfections, God can express His love.
Love while you can, it's a gift that God has bestowed upon us. AMDG!
1. Acceptance.
Each person in this bond is required to understand and accept the weaknesses of his or her partner. Admitting that the partner is weak in some aspects, may it be in terms of physical features, or talent, or may be when it comes to intelligence. Accepting it as it is, and not covering or concealing it with luscious affirmation. Acceptance does not only goes one way, you should also accept yourself as you are. Admit it, you too are human, an imperfect creation of God. That's a reality, nothing that God has created is perfect. Appreciate your own weaknesses, and learn how to strive through it. At the end, you will learn to love yourself more, despite of the insecurities that you once had. By loving yourself more, you can love your partner even more.
2. Affirmation.
This is a key to overcome weaknesses. By affirming the things that you and your partner give, you will learn to appreciate each other more. Even if one of you failed to yield, affirming him or her will give guts for each one of you to exert more to make your relationship happier. Affirmation in action is needed. Not just through words, words are not enough. For words are like faith; without action, it is also dead. Of course words can give you comfort and sense of support, but it cannot save you from bigger troubles. But in reality, words are just mere concepts and theories pending to be applied. We can always be fooled by glamorous words, especially when we are in desperate situations, that we need instant support, since words are always faster than acting it. Quite easily said than done.
3. Quality time.
Definition of quality time depends on the perception of an individual. For me, sitting beside the one you love, even without any words, is a quality time. For some, quality time is going to the park, sharing experiences with one another, going out on a date, having some coffee together, eating lunch together, walking around together. That may also be defined as quality time. There are other perceptions of this concept. But all boils down on one thing: spending a moment with your beloved is really healthy. It boosts support, presence, appreciation and of course, love.
4. Basic communication.
How often do you talk? When was the last time you heard the voice of your partner? When did you last quarrel? These moments matter in a relationship. For in these events, your hearts converse with one another. Your hearts speak with each other, a two way communication that enhances your bond. When one speaks, you can see through the way your partner says every single word the feelings he or she has behind it. Behind the spoken words, real emotions are exposed through the intonation of each word. And without this, you will just end up trying to interpolate the current mood of your partner. You can understand your partner more and more with each conversation that you have with each other.
5. Understanding.
Understanding your partner, how he or she thinks or reacts is important. By allowing yourself to see even the smallest detail, it can yield to loving your partner at a deeper level. Not just on the level of words, but on the level of hearing and listening. As you enhance this, soon you can arrive at a point where words, may it be written or spoken, are not necessary to understand one another. This is at a level where hearts commune with each other.
6. Contenment
Fidelity is a common issue in a relationship. One becomes unfaithful when you start to look for something that you cannot find in your partner. But this missing thing or trait is just a small percentage of what your partner currently possess. If you just learn how to appreciate the greater factor, you will not be looking for that missing part. Always thank the Creator for making your partner that way. Of course there will always be someone who looks better than your partner, or better than you, that's a fact. But if you are happy with what God has given you, you will always find joy in it. You'll be surprised that this missing percentage will be negligble, contented on the gift that God has given you through your partner. Thank God for making us imperfect, for in our imperfections, God can express His love.
Love while you can, it's a gift that God has bestowed upon us. AMDG!
Monday, October 26, 2009
end of days
It's been a while since I found myself singing one of the songs that technically reflect my life path, specifically on my relationship with my girlfriend.. ex-... As the title of this song implies, I was wondering what really happened. Literally..
Our relationship was stable back then. For almost 4 years of being in that relationship, we had good times and bad times. There were several trials along the way, but we did overcome those. We thought that we were stable enough to withstand any blow. However, the time came when we needed to part ways. During the latter part of my days being in a relationship, there was an outburst of emotions. Hurts, pains and exhaustion filled every corner in our relationship.. No more room for love. As if love has gone its own way and left us empty cells, rooms where other emotions can dwell.. Sad, but that was fate, a fate that we should accept.
Here's the song:
For various reasons... a part of me is still asking God why did He allow this to happen, as part of His plan for me, for us.. Yes, I surrendered to His mighty will. But there is this human side of me that wonders, still. Well, I am human... Gladly, God is constantly helping me recover and stand up back on my feet. :-)
Our relationship was stable back then. For almost 4 years of being in that relationship, we had good times and bad times. There were several trials along the way, but we did overcome those. We thought that we were stable enough to withstand any blow. However, the time came when we needed to part ways. During the latter part of my days being in a relationship, there was an outburst of emotions. Hurts, pains and exhaustion filled every corner in our relationship.. No more room for love. As if love has gone its own way and left us empty cells, rooms where other emotions can dwell.. Sad, but that was fate, a fate that we should accept.
Here's the song:
Nakapagtataka
Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking pag-iisip
Mula ng tayo'y nagpasyang maghiwalay
Nagpaalam pagkat di' tayo bagay
Nakapagtataka, ooh-wooh
Kung bakit ganito ang aking kapalaran
Di ba ilang ulit ka ng nagpaalam
Bawat paalam, ay puno ng iyakan
Nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka
CHORUS:
Hindi ka ba napapagod
O di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang,
Walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Walang tigil ang ulan at nasaan ka araw?
Napa'no na'ng pag-ibig sa isa't-isa?
Wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa ?
Nakapagtataka, saan na napunta?
CHORUS:
Hindi ka ba napapagod
O di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang,
Walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking pag-iisip
Mula ng tayo'y nagpasyang maghiwalay
Nagpaalam pagkat di' tayo bagay
Nakapagtataka, ooh-wooh
Kung bakit ganito ang aking kapalaran
Di ba ilang ulit ka ng nagpaalam
Bawat paalam, ay puno ng iyakan
Nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka
CHORUS:
Hindi ka ba napapagod
O di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang,
Walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Walang tigil ang ulan at nasaan ka araw?
Napa'no na'ng pag-ibig sa isa't-isa?
Wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa ?
Nakapagtataka, saan na napunta?
CHORUS:
Hindi ka ba napapagod
O di kaya'y nagsasawa
Sa ating mga tampuhang,
Walang hanggang katapusan
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Napahid na'ng mga luha
Damdamin at puso'y tigang
Wala ng maibubuga
Wala na akong maramdaman
Kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
Ba't di tayo magkasunduan
For various reasons... a part of me is still asking God why did He allow this to happen, as part of His plan for me, for us.. Yes, I surrendered to His mighty will. But there is this human side of me that wonders, still. Well, I am human... Gladly, God is constantly helping me recover and stand up back on my feet. :-)
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